As human beings, connection is an intrinsic need that goes beyond survival and basic interaction. It shapes our identities, influences our experiences, and fulfills a deep-rooted desire to feel a part of something larger than ourselves. We crave to belong, to be seen, and to be understood. It's why we tend to connect ourselves to others through associations: "She’s a friend of so-and-so," or "Her mother works with me at..." We instinctively seek out ways to categorize and relate to each other, as if drawing invisible lines to connect ourselves in a web of shared humanity.
Six Degrees of Connection
The idea of "six degrees of separation" captures this yearning for interconnectedness, suggesting that any two people can be linked through a chain of acquaintances no longer than six steps. It's not just about the numbers; it's about the undeniable truth that we are, in some way, all linked. This innate drive to find connection is not a modern phenomenon, but rather a fundamental aspect of the human experience. Whether we are forming close bonds or simply acknowledging shared acquaintances, we are constantly building bridges that bring us closer to one another.
I hold on and work hard for relationship. I always have. I am the one who calls, organizes the get togethers, or reaches out for no reason. And although they don’t always feed me, I probably always will. Why? I’ve asked myself this question many times. Every time I come back to the same word.
Connection. Deep down inside my soul - it is connection.
I love people. Some very deeply. I have some healthy, loving, supportive relationships that feed my soul with a profound sense of well-being and gratitude. I have others for whom I am the sounding board, cheer leader, social connection, counselor, advisor, mentor, lunch buddy, or work friend. While these don’t always feed me – I feel the connection and know sometimes by part of the relationship it to show up for them. Not like a martyr, service buddy. But lives are far richer, deeper with connection.
Learning To and From Relationship
I know there is a natural ebb and flow to relationships—some are fleeting while others are enduring, enriching in ways that are often profound and unpredictable. As the saying goes, people come into our lives for a season, a reason, or a lifetime. But when relationship is at its best, when I lend my heart with integrity, and when the other person meets me in this place with the same level of integrity and commitment, the connection, the relationship is soul binding and spirit lifting.
I am not saying I have always been "perfect" at relationship. I know I have blur the lines or even fallen into flawed motives, using relationships to serve my interests. Upon reflection, I have learned the hollowness of these experiences teach us that authentic connection requires conscious effort, integrity, and a willingness to meet others as they are, where they are. It’s a reminder that while relationships can vary in how much they give or take, the act of showing up for someone can, in itself, deepen our understanding of connection.
The Science of Connection
The science of connection isn't just emotional; it is physiological. When we form genuine bonds, our bodies release oxytocin, the "love hormone," enhancing our well-being and reducing stress. On a cellular level, connection truly matters. It enriches our lives, helps us navigate challenges, and fosters a sense of purpose.
I invite you to consider how you meet yourself and others in relationship and how this feeds your soul. As I reflect on and learn to understand the connection craving, I learn to lend my heart and my gift of relationship more thoughtfully. I learn to teach others how to treat me and meet me in relationship to feed us both. I learn to cherish relationships, not merely as social constructs, but as essential elements of my human experience.
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